Beginning of an end or end of a beginning????

i dont know. i really dont know. because i am confused. no! confusion relates not to my feelings , but facts and circumstances prevailing. We met. ok.....let me not talk in terms of "we", first let me talk about "I". i met her at a time when i most needed her, when my life was in such a phase where i needed someone i could cling on to, someone i could cry with, someone i could share my world of secrets with, someone who would just be there for me. i simply needed a friend, a true friend. not those shallow bastards i had come across till now during school days. i needed to fill a void in my "unhappening" life. and she came at an appropriate, most opportune time---when i was in a new city,- new people, new college, new surroundings and new everything used to bog me down. we lived in the same hostel yet we were never on talking terms for along time. hey! no! not because i disliked her or anything but just because we simply didnt click, i mean never got a chance really to explore each others' company. but gradually as it happened, i dont know how, but it did. we started talking, as a matter of compulsion , not as a matter of choice, we being in the same class. discussions relating to our academics slowly turned to discussions relating to our families, friends, boyfriends, likes , dislikes.. and this is how it started to change between us-me and KASHISH.it's our story.slowly we discovered we disliked the same kind of people, we hated bitches, we hated cheap men, we hated ONS, we hated the same teachers and we hated the colege, we hated the system and we hated wasting ourselves in that stupid college. we LIKED reading romantic novels, we lked watching the same movies, we liked eating at the same place, we liked being studious, we liked chilling out, we liked being loved, we liked the same brownie at CCD, we liked the same burger at mc Ds, funny!! but so veryyyyyynormal for two ppl to just like the same things but these two were different, always.they were also very different from each other. she loved listening to music at high volumes, me at low. she liked spending lavishly on clothes, i didnt. she liked attending KK concerts, i didnt. she liked insulting ppl she didnt like on their face, i didnt. strange it was.but they were still pretty close. yes! at a time when we both needed each other the most, we CLICKED! we became the bestest buddies in a matter of just 6 months. it was almost like we were long lost friends destined to be together. (its so sttrange vaise....sometimes you take a lifetime getting to know someone and sometimes just a few months do the job perfectly for u)this is how it went- from the early wake up call in the morning to the good night hug at night- we were together 18/24 hours in a day. we used to stick on to each other-getting ready for college, going to college together, catching the rickshaw together, sitting together in clas, attending the same seminars and lectures, poking fun at the same teachers, roaming around in the market together, drinking together, hanging out together, eating together, shopping together, fighting over trivial matters together...together, together, together...phew! the very thought of staying away from one another used to kill us both.....now here is the time for an honest confession--she was one of the truest friends i made in my life, probably the only one. i could get so close to someone in so little time was something i never thought would happen to me. she came as a Guardian Angel, stood by me through the worst phase of my life, stood by me, laughed with me, cried with me, bore with my screams, my irritating mood swings, my constant nagging over petty things and all my poor habits.but who was to know it would all change one day? for can there be happiness bereft of gloom? can there be dawn sans a dusk? can there be true friendship withoit separation? i dont know. now kashish is in her hometown. she has a medical problem, a weird one at that- some brainlayer gets misplaced, some swelling happens and she has a constant headache. she sometimes suffers attacks of numbness. i feel bad for her, truly sad. she is in pain, but she would never tell. yet she knows her parents might not allow her to come back to delhi. i fear the same. and this is from where i start becoming selfish. i want her back because i cant live without her, i want her back in delhi with me because i cant imagine spending the whole day without her, i want her because i need her,i want her because i dont want to compromise on our friendship. i want her because i want to fight with God. i want her because i'm selfish. but deep down , i ask HIM this question....why do you have to make these deep bonds when your ultimate aim is to snap them, tear them apart? why do you give such friends when all you want to do is take them away? why do you show us an illusionary world when reality is far from it? why? why? why?questions reamin unanswered, disappointment deepens in the haert. doubt remains lingering. pain reaches more profound destinations. tomorrow.....with you or without. nobody knows. but this one is a tribute to my best friend:thank you for being what you arethank you for being with methank you for standing by methank you for making me laughthank you for sharing and caringthank you for understandingi never want you awaybut accept as i may whatever comes my way, i think i need you to know...true friends are never apart, maybe in distance but not in heart.P.S. is it the beginning of an end or just an end of a beginning...i would love to think it's the latter.P.P.S. i miss you Kashish. Get well soon. i pray...thats all i can do...